You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
