She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We need to feng shui this bitch.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
