I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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