If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
