I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
