Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
