roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
