Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
