so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
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I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
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Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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