oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
