I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
