he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
party gras won. party gras always wins.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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