we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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