it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
