i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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