and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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