Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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