Well douche your snatch and let's go!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
