im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
