I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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