it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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