very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
