Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
