I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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