Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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