please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
