Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
