you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
