; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
