just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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