Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
