I skipped work to stalk him.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
