So drunk its hurt
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
