oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
