I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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