I love black thongs
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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