So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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