I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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