well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize