This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize