Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
