Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
