Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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