I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
