:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
