You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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