I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Randomize
