are you still at the devil's house?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
