I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
