hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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