Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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