Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers