One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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