I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!