How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Come see our sink grown plant.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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