I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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