I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
