Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize