Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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