she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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