I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
