so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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