My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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