Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
