I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
